Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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