i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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