one might say we're banned from that church
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize
