dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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