Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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