I cockslap morals
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize