oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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