Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize