I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
