How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
