Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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