Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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