In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize