I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
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