Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
