I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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