Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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