Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
