Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
