I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
