U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
