is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
