the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
