I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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