At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
