Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
NoShamevember. You game?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize