Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
