fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
