Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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