Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
