I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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