but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Alive.
So much puke
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
