I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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