I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
