sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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