you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
