She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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