you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
