How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
