Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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