dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
