i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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