p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
