someone get that fucking seahorse.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
