we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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