I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
