I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
