Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
