I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
