you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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