i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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