You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
