ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
