My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
