Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
