I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
