My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
