whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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