he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
