we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
