Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
