it was like eating out sand paper
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
