Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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