It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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