I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
