mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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