take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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