im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
