I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
