You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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