It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
