Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
