pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
