Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
