I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
