Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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