why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
