Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
