careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
